in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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