The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All I want is dick and wine.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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