You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
