Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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