I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
