Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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