I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
