these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
