??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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