Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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