Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
