Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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