Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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