if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
