Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
