sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
