Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
