If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
