I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
