just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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