Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
