I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
