I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
