party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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