too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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