if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
