I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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