What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
