Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she told me i tasted like america
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
