She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
