Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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