it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
