Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
