I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im holly from the hills drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
