im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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