I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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