You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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