I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize