I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
