He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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