ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
