His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
