pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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