So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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