I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My dick has a subreddit
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
