I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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