You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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