so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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