Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
