Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i came on her dog
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
NoShamevember. You game?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Randomize
