physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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