South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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