my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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